VEGAS, baby! Oh, and Mile High Club Members

I have been to the City of Sin and back...and got kicked out of two casinos while I was at it. What is my story, you ask? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of your journey...

After a nice meal at Popeye's Chicken, near gate C16, I meandered back down to the crew lounge to enjoy a long, boring evening, sick of waiting for someone else to get, well, sick, so I could take their place on the trip. I had just taken out my book, settled into the nice, black leather couch, put my earphones into place, when my phone rang."Crew Sched In," it says. This can only mean one thing.
"Hello?"
"Yes, Meredith? You're goin' to Vegas, baby!"
Okay, so she didn't say it exactly like that, but you get the picture. I have never been to Sin City, never been anywhere near it, actually, so I couldn't help but be a little bit excited! So, after meeting my crew, we flew - no pun intended - to the gate. After ensuring that we had TWO liquor kits on board, we were off. I knew that 137 of those 137 people were more than likely going to order alcohol. By the end of the trip, I was totalling out $205 worth of liquor. At five dollars a pop, you can imagine how much alcohol that actually was. Example: there are seven bottles of Bailey's Irish Cream per liquor kit. Seats 1D and 1F drank FOURTEEN of them!And they were going to Vegas - free drinks for merely sitting at the slot machines! So, we arrived in Vegas at 11 pm their time...put that in REAL, Eastern time, it was close to 2 am. Although I was a bit "red-eyed," lol, I was ready for the night on the town promised to me by the crew.
But wait! I'm not yet twenty-one, I argued. After assuring me that no casino cards at the door, we headed for the hotel. A quick stop for dropping off luggage and putting on cute outfits and we walked the half mile from the hotel to the glorious Vegas Strip. It's times like these, I thought wistfully, when a camera would do my soul good. I've seen it on television plenty of times, but it's just one of those things that one has to experience first hand to glean all the richness of the city. The buildings were blue, pink, and green, with sky scrapers and thousands of bustling people. First stop: Bally's. I felt like I was in a movie from the first moment those gold-plated doors were swung open. The slot machines were like giant pieces of candy, their lights glittering, luring, greedy for money. I looked with surreal surprise to actually see for the first time in my life the tables where the poker-chicks - whatever they are called - were dealing out the cards to the, hopefully, lucky players. The first officer promised more beauty around the corner, so we followed him.
I saw a MILLION DOLLARS cash in a glass cube...it was awaiting its winner in the annual poker tournament, not yet begun. It was breathtaking to be near that much cold, hard cash. We rounded one more corner, and there it was...complete with cobblestone roads, lamp posts, and cafe tables and chairs. My little piece of Paris. The ceiling was painted as a blue sky, with clouds, and it opened up onto another vast ocean of people, games, and bars.There were several theatres inside of Paris, Las Vegas, and bands played. I saw, with great shock, several cocktail waitresses, dressed in almost nothing. Yuck. Anyway, so, we made our way to Gustav's Bar, where the girls ordered a giant pina colada served in a plastic replica of the Eiffel Tower. Very cute, but not cute enough to pay $12.50 for. When asked what I wanted to drink, I shook my head, indicating nothing, but the other crew members told me I could get a virgin drink. Okay, so I ordered a pina colada."Can I see your ID please?" Uh-oh, the dreaded question. I knew I couldn't lie, so I just told him I wasn't yet twenty-one.
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, ma'am. You can't sit near the bar area, and you're not supposed to be in here."
Ugh, how embarrassing. So, up we get and walk to another part of the huge casino, where the girls took a break to play a few penny slots - and lose ten bucks, of course. After we left Bally's/Paris, we went to Flamingo's. Another flashy-smashy beautiful casino. I went into the gift shop and watched a fight right outside of the window. I got a little nervous, but the cops soon intervened and the brouhaha was over. I suppose I picked a bad time to return to the other flight attendants, because as I stood over them, watching them waste more money, a rude cop, or whatever he was, came up to me. He pointed right at me and said,
"How old are you?"
Once again, I couldn't lie!! Do I LOOK LIKE I AM TWELVE???? Anyway, I told him I wasn't twenty-one, and he told me to get out. I tried to explain that I was with them, and they had just put their money in, but he said they would have to leave with me if they were going to stay with me. As they tried to quickly play their last few lines, he practically yelled in my face and said, "That means NOW!" Evil man. So, we left...again.
We ran into a Burger King to grab a quick bite to eat, and, once again, it was in a casino. I kept my head down the entire time, praying that no one would kick me out again. I was starved. We finally got back to the hotel around three in the morning, which, in real time, lol, was six am. I was exhausted. In all, it was a fun night, even if I was kicked out, lol. I can't WAIT until June, when I can go back, flip out my ID and say, "BOOYAH!" I suppose I'll appreciate looking twelve when I'm fifty, though.
The city was beautiful, alive, and breathtaking. I can't wait to go back and visit The Venetian, Caesar's Palace, and see some shows. OH! I saw at least three couples where the girl was wearing a bridal veil. I guess some people ARE crazy enough to get married there. I want to see the drive-through chapels. Even though I don't drink, or gamble, for that matter, it's still a cool place to visit, just to say you went.

Okay, part two. You know how everyone asks me if I've caught anyone in the Mile High Club? Up until a few days ago, the answer was no. Well, now I have.
A man walks on the plane, well dressed, handsome, but with a nose ring, so I assumed he was probably gay. He was very "pretty." Probably in his early twenties. Right behind him, enter a woman in her fifties, heavy, not attractive, with two warts on her face. The woman tapped the man on the shoulder, he turned around and said in a creepy high-pitched voice, "There you are!! You just keep getting me into trouble..." Weird. After the man comes and begs us for a seat closer to the aisle - he gets anxiety attacks, he said, and throws up on people, sweats, and freaks. He didn't want to bother anyone. He'd even had a couple of drinks before getting on the plane, and he "doesn't even drink." In the same sentence he asked if we could serve him a Crown Royal and a coke as a pre-departure beverage. Yeah...So, he ends up taking the seat next the woman who had walked on the plane.They start talking, so I figured the guy was happy. Flash forward to inflight service. Between the two of them, they ordered $40 worth of liquor. She then proceeds to ask for a blanket...as did he. We were coming from Fort Myers - it was NOT cold on the plane. I wrote a note to the other flight attendant, LaReina, on a napkin and said, "You know why they want those blankets..."
I got them the blankets, we finished service, and LaReina went to do trash. She bolted back to the front and said, "Oh. My. Gosh. They are freakin' off under the blanket. The blankets are pulled up to their necks, the tray tables are down, and she is leaning over in his lap."I had to see this, so I took the trash bag and headed back through the cabin. At this point, they were heavily making out, like some freaks in a porn movie or something. She was licking his face, he was biting her arm, and, well, they were doing other things I'll save for the imagination. I didn't know what to do! It was in front of other passengers, but no one was complaining, so I told the lead flight attendant. She did nothing, so I just stayed in the front as much as I could. The guy got up to go to the lav, and if she had followed him I would have headed back there. Luckily, she didn't. The worst part, though, may have been as they were deplaning. They were the last ones to leave the plane, and as they waited for an old woman in her seventies to get out in front of them, the guy pretended to grab her rump, looked at me and said, "Yum, she's so fat, I love it!!"I was speechless. What the heck do you say to garbage like that? There are definitely some perverts in the world. As they left, LaReina came up to me and said, "Oh my gosh, so I asked them if they were on their honeymoon, or something, because they both had on wedding rings. They said no, the guy didn't even know her name, and the woman said, 'Oh, we don't even know each other, we were just messing around.'"
WOW. So, ladies and gents, as disturbing as it may be, I have finally been witness to some freaks on the plane