Light

As the heat of early fall begins abating to the soft breezes of its cooler cousin, she meanders in a sort of wistful daydream at one of her old haunts, a park near the river and shops of city life. The warmth of her favorite latte still simmers in her stomach, and a tentative smile crosses her lips as her thoughts roam a thousand miles away. She has come here to get away from the hectic busyness of the past few months, happy to be in the company of old family and friends. On this day, though, she has ventured out for a walk on her own. The night is sure to bring wild gaiety at a planned bonfire...she thinks of all the people she is so anxious and excited to see, imagining how much everyone will have changed since she last saw them. The smile on her face slowly grows as she sinks further and further into her daydream.
Suddenly a voice at her back, a voice she shall never quite get out of her heart, gently calls her name. She doesn't want to look back, so afraid of what awaits her, yet she aches to the core of her soul to see his face again. Slowly she turns in the direction of the voice. There he is...with her. She clings to the collar of his dress shirt, her pale baby fingers clutching her father's hand as he reaches up to loosen her grip.
In one of those "flash-bulb" memory moments, the scene before her is emblazoned in her mind. The sun glints off the midnight blackness of his hair as he stands, one hand at the top of his front jeans pocket, the other wrapped firmly around the bottom of his young child. Her eyes slowly travel to his, green, storm-tossed waves meeting yellow-gold heat of a tiger's gaze. She doesn't speak. She doesn't weep. She doesn't feel. She simply is.
He speaks. "Hi."
The word echoes in the stillness surrounding them.
"Hello," is all she can think to say.
"This is Sophia," he says, motioning to the baby on his hip. It is then that she realizes she has yet to look upon her face. Her soul screams in protest as she helplessly turns her gaze upon her heartbreak. She is struck, almost physically, by the strong resemblance she shares with her father. Those eyes, piercing green, are shadowed by deep black lashes. She feels as if the child is staring into her soul.
Before she can stop herself, she reaches for the baby.
"May I?"
Without a word he hands the warm bundle to her. She holds the light weight of Sophia in her arms, stroking her cinnamon curls, silently reveling in the lingering scent her father left behind. It is just as she remembered. The child giggles and flails her tiny arms about, simultaneously drawing a laugh from our heroine's heart and slicing it in two. In the next moment Sophia gently rests her chubby hand upon the strange lady's soft cheek and stares into her face; a half a breath feels like an eternity. She can feel the soul of her lost love vibrating in Sophia's heartbeat, and as she glances over her shoulder, the man watches with such a sadness in his gaze that the mile-thick wall around her heart shatters in an instant. As a silent tear slowly begins to trickle down her cheek, she turns back to Sophia. She speaks to her for the first time, although the words are meant for the man over Sophia's shoulder.
"Hi, Sophia. You're beautiful, did you know that? You have a soul that I can see in your eyes, and it is breathtaking. Don't ever worry about days gone by as you grow older...all things happen for a reason, even if it seems that reason may never be clear to your heart. I think I'll always love you...I just can't help it. When I first saw you I just knew you were one of those people I was never going to get out of my heart. You are going to do great things - I believe in you and I always will, darling. Don't ever be afraid to follow your heart, and when you feel that your world is crashing at your feet, always know there is someone out there who cares. Someone once said, 'Mistakes are the portals of discovery.' So, my love, discover the new life that awaits you. Breathe the scent of the fresh-churned dirt roads, calling your name, endless treasures waiting for you at the end. I wish you laughter, hope, and the strength to forgive those who do you wrong, for all the days of your life. May a love so wonderful it steals your breath rain down like a torrent upon your beautiful head."
Finally, she looks up from a glassy ocean of tears to see his quivering chin, the veins in his neck strained as he struggles to keep his composure.
"Sophia, give this to your daddy, from me." She wraps both arms around the baby's slight frame, hugging the child to her chest in the warmest of embraces. She feels small fingers grabbing at her shoulders in an effort to return the hug, and she can't help but give a small laugh through her impending tears. She clutches the small body to hers for another moment, feeling half his heart beat close to hers for a final time. She pulls Sophia's arms from around her neck and places a kiss on her rosy cheek. The child grins and giggles again as shes hands her ripped soul back into his arms. Their fingers touch for a moment infinitely too brief; firecrackers still sparkle through her veins. He holds the child and looks at the woman for a final time. She realizes how aged he looks, finally like the man she always pictured him to be.
In the distance behind her, she hears a female voice call her beloved's name; he lifts his hand in a wave, the sun glinting off the gold band on his left hand. He looks from his child to his lost love, knowing this is it. He lowers his head to kiss the cheek her lips just touched, locking eyes with her. Appearing to direct his words at his daughter, he puts a bandaid over the gash in the woman's heart."I love you, beautiful."
As both their mouths crack the slightest of smiles, she takes the first step into the future, into the light, without a backward glance.