Closure

When will I feel his kiss again? I ache, deep inside, almost incessantly for his lips, his gaze, and his warm touch. Every time I see the tall back of a broad shouldered man, I can't help but recall images of him. I watch the stranger from behind, my gaze sweeping from the top of his dark head to the base of his tanned, strong neck, my heart beating ache and emptiness into my veins as my eyes rest upon his arms. The strength I imagine that resides there makes me yearn for the stranger to suddenly turn around, revealing that he is indeed the man whose arms I wish to make my haven. I die a little inside every time I realize that I shall probably never again lay eyes upon him. For even though I have been "in love" with other boys, not one of them has ever - or will ever - create in me such an intense loneliness at the thought of spending the rest of my life without him.
But does he even care is the question that plagues me next. Does he ever even think of me? I want to scream that my heart is being irrational, that how could he not love me as I love him? Perhaps, though, it was all a facade he played with impeccable sincerety. And if this wretched scenario be the case, what a fool I have acted. What a fool I continue to be. And if this shall ever be an unrequited love, I pray to God I shall keep my sanity should the gorgeous, green-eyed, noble-hearted rogue ever cross my path again.
I ask my heart what it believes, although it is not always loud when I ask this question. I ask why I hope to see him again one day. I ask if it believes I will see him, if our paths will reunite. But I have a difficulty understanding the answer at times. Does my heart say no because that is what I truly believe? Or is it because that faintly whispered "yes" is drowned by the loud fear that I will spend my time wasting away and miss an opportunity with another? I think, perhaps, when I listen the most intently, I can hear my heart sigh - not for the sheer sorrow of love lost, but for the fact that an instinctively important endeavor was not given the chance to be expounded upon. My heart, louder now, voices a yearning for closure in this stairwell of my life. Perhaps, albeit the closure may not be exactly what I think I want, if indeed this is what I need to move on with my life, I've no doubt that it will show itself in a perfect opportunity in due time.