Monday, January 7, 2008

Vampire Lover


Vampire Lover

There is something to be said for having too many clothes – thank God for Goodwill. This was my precise thought as I drove to the donation section of the local thrift store to lay aside my years of wardrobe malfunctions and runway disasters into the hands of people who could care less about style and more about warmth.
I disembarked from my vehicle to be met abruptly by the stereotype of thrift store workers in Atlanta. A young black man, attractive, I will admit, quickly scooped up my bags as he scoped out my bod. Not that he should have been impressed.
However, impressed he seemed to be as a grin slowly split his cheeks.
“So, where you goin’ all dressed up?”
Ugh, WHY does everyone think I’m “dressed up” if I wear a dress??
I politely smiled back, saying almost through clenched teeth, “I’m not dressed up. I’m just going…book shopping.”
“Where at?”
Please, I thought. Humor me by not butchering the English language.
“The Book Nook, next door.”
“Aw, shawty, jes’ come in the Goodwill! We gots lots a books fo’ sho!”
Well, so much for not killing English. He just put about three hundred bullet holes in her with an M16.
I followed him inside the loading door to get a receipt for tax purposes, I suppose, although I hate the thought of numbers and filing taxes, so I think I threw the receipt away.
Anyway, the point of this story is the boy I saw as I rounded the corner of that door and passed into the shadowy, cool interior of the building.

I looked up into the blackest of midnight eyes I’d ever seen. At the edge of the table stood a boy with skin of the purest white marble, nothing to blemish the perfection of his face. Contrasting beautifully with his skin was his dark shirt, the V in the collar revealing sinewy ivory cords in his neck. His hair was as black as a night sky without a moon, silky and smooth, falling in loose waves about his shoulders.

With a moan she dug her fingers into the midnight depths of his hair, the glossy smoothness of it like dark water against her palms.”

Oh, by the way, that last part was a faux-romance novel excerpt that ran through my head as I gazed on his tresses.
I stood there speechless as the bumbling idiot wrote up my receipt, unable to take my eyes or thoughts from the brooding, quiet beauty in front of me. He stared at me for a few moments and I couldn’t help but think of him as a Vampire, struggling against his ravenous desire for human blood, trying desperately to fit in, fighting to keep the hunger in his eyes from betraying him. I felt strangely drawn to him, as if I was supposed to know him, and a voice inside was urging me to talk to him.
I would have, but given the circumstances, I didn’t really have a chance.
As I walked back out into the sunlight, I couldn’t help but glance back at him, wondering if he would dazzle me should the sun catch a glimpse of his alabaster skin.
Alas, no such wonder was bestowed upon my Vampire. I noticed he began sorting through boxes of donations, and only then did I begin to wonder what he was doing there. At first I thought he was only a donor like myself, but when he appeared to be working, my mind starting turning.
The gears came to an abrupt stop as English Butcher asked when I’d be back.
Why, God, do I not think of what I say before I say it?
“Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll be back sometime to bring more of my goodies.”
Yes, those were the words out of my mouth.
Cringing inside at his inevitable response, I tried to hurry away as he sucked air between his teeth, and muttered under his breath, “Oh yeah, you can SHO’ bring me some o’ yo’ goodies!”
Returning to my car, I turned to my partner in crime.
“Do you see him?” I breathed.
“The boy with the beautiful white skin? Yes…I’ve been watching him the whole time. He looks like…”
“A vampire!” we finished together.
As a drove away, his face kept haunting my thoughts. As we drifted through the nearby bookstore, I finally turned to Ashley.
“Do you want to go back?” I asked.
“Yes!!” Ashley laughed.
Back we drove, determined to find out who this Too-Beautiful-For-Goodwill-Donations-Department employee was.
Of course we had nothing to take back to donations, although I suggested we go on a shopping spree in Goodwill and re-donate it all. We nixed that idea early on. Taking our posts next to the “Employee Only” doors, we waited for a victim we could bestow our bizarre query upon.
We soon realized our quest may prove more difficult than we first thought. Most of the folks sporting royal blue Goodwill aprons were of Hispanic descent, rapidly firing Spanish inquisitions (no pun intended) to fellow employees.
To no avail we searched for someone who spoke more English than “That’ll be twenty-five dollars, please,” to answer our strange and random question.
Ashley suggested I go through the doors and when I was caught pretend I didn’t see the sign. I just might have if I’d had a nice Goodwill apron to disguise me.
Finally, after ten minutes of hopelessly craning our necks to see through the small windows of the doors, hoping to catch another glimpse of our lovely vampire, I gave up and went to the nearest employee.
“Excuse me, miss,” I said to the woman nearby who was sorting through musty dresses.
“I know this may sound strange, but I was wondering if you could tell me who the nice man in the back was?”
I proceeded to explain his looks and that he’d been so helpful I wanted to write a letter of commendation. Okay, that sounded like a bit much, but if I told her the real reason, that we thought he looked like a Vampire right out of the Twilight book series and that we wanted to find out if he was indeed Edward and was one of the Vampires who DIDN’T drink human blood, then maybe I could marry him and find out if he has any brothers for Ashley, I can daresay she would have called security, in whatever form that may come at a Goodwill.
Sadly, we didn’t get QUITE the answer we were looking for.
“Well,” she said in perfect English, “I’m not sure if I know exactly who you are talking about…I don’t know for sure if he works here.”
Determined not to give up, I suggested he was perhaps a good-hearted volunteer?
“Oh! Yes, we have volunteers…like for community service.”
“Oh?” I said. He was a Vampire who didn’t kill humans AND he helped his community in his free time? Could it get any better?
“Yes, community service, for you know…DUI’s, petty theft, driver’s license problems, you know, like that.”
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OmG. Of COURSE he would be some criminal who opted for less jail time by slumming away in the donation department of Goodwill.
WOW. I know how to pick them.
Ah well, it was still an adventure.
I told Ashley in a fit of almost hysterical laughter as we left the store, “Wow, that was all for nothing…all that scheming to find out he’s a convicted felon!”
“Well,” she said with a smile, “You can always blog it.”

She knows me too well.


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