Sunday, March 16, 2008

Christmas Date Disaster

*NOTE* This entire story is 100% true, I just wrote it as if it were fiction to make it more interesting. Of course, the flight attendant - duh - is me. And yes, like I said, this really happened. Ugh.

The flight attendant was tired, her day having begun well before dawn, and still several hours of work were ahead of her before she could take a much-needed respite.Glancing into the lavatory mirror prior to boarding, she winced at her haggard appearance. Oh well, she shrugged to her reflection. No time to reapply makeup. The first passengers had already boarded.
She stepped back into her greeting position, smiling, nodding, saying her one millionth “welcome aboard” for the day. Her mind wandered elsewhere, its usual occupation far away on a handsome, lost love. Real, myth, it didn’t matter, it got her through the day…and night. She was snapped from her reverie by the sound of a jovial voice, soothing to the ears and a rush to the blood. She glanced up into a pair of utterly hypnotic blue eyes, swearing she was gazing into a portrait of an arctic landscape, so unusual were they. Winking at her, he held up an enormous poster declaring an ad for insurance and exclaimed, “Happy Birthday!”
She laughed, well aware of his next question.
“So,” he prodded flirtatiously. “I get to put your present in business class and sit up here with you, right?”
“Ha! Not so fast. Only people who don’t try to bribe their way up here get the privilege of being near me.”
“Well, aren’t you an Indian taker! You accept my gift and then give it back!” Still, he smiled and touched her arm coyly as he headed back to the main cabin. What could she do? She was an absolute sucker for dark hair and light eyes which is absolutely what this stranger was endowed with. Knowing that her business class section was far from full, she headed back to the seat of Mickey Blue Eyes and his friend.
“Sir,” she began, trying her best to feign not knowing this man. “We would like to offer you a complimentary upgrade. I see that you are active military and as a favor to those serving our country, we’d like to do this for you.” Humor glinted out of his icy gaze, but he played along quite well, gathering his things and quickly moving to business class. He and his friend quickly took advantage of the free drinks, both ordering a screwdriver. Of course the two flirted with her the entire flight, although her attentions were turned to the mesmerizing one. She stood leaning on the seat in front of Prince Charming, his easy smile and seamless conversation setting her at ease when he finally popped the question.
“So, fellow Gemini,” he asked cockily. Again, she never could resist a confident – if somewhat arrogant – attitude.“You’re gonna go out with me tonight, right?” YES! She screamed inside. The cartoon version of her was performing antics reminiscent of a ditzy cheerleader. Dear Lord! Get a hold of yourself! She admonished her Lizzie McGuire counterpart. Still, she wasn’t at all sure how to respond. After all, she knew nothing of this man except that his name was Michael Lehman, he was a twenty-seven year old denizen of Kansas City, Missouri, and worked as a traveling salesman for a wireless insurance company. And what about his gorgeous visage? How could she ever deny herself this one night of…fun?
She glanced at his friend, Quinn, for reassurance.“I’m not vouching for him!” Why our flight attendant did not heed this red flag was a question she later kicked herself for. Michael rolled his eyes at Quinn, then once again settled his lavish gaze upon his intended target.
“So?” he grinned alluringly. After much consideration, of course, two minutes later our protagonist decided to go out with Assho…I mean, Michael.
“Here,” he said, as he deplaned, handing her a blue and white card. “I know it’s cliché, but here’s my card.” She took it and reciprocated, telling him to call her in about an hour. Our “lovely” – as Michael had called her – heroine quickly changed at the hotel and fixed her tumbling hair, reapplying what makeup had rubbed off throughout her long work day. As promised, he rolled into the hotel parking lot, meeting her in the lobby with a small hug. Damn, he was bony. She never had liked guys skinnier than herself and he certainly was. Still, those eyes and pearly whites won over any issues he may have had in the weight category. Taking him to the counter in the lobby, she called the hotel clerk over.
“I just want you to see this man,” she said to the woman at the front desk. She handed the woman a card. “Here is his information, and if you don’t see me come back in here tonight, call America’s Most Wanted. He’s your guy.” Michael laughed with the hotel clerk, but he could see his date was serious. “I’m taking every precaution. It’s not a silly thing to do,” she defended herself.
“What if you end up killing me instead? Should I be worried?” She assured him she was harmless, but as she glanced again at his threadlike bulk, she couldn’t help thinking she’d probably strangle him should she sit on his chest.

The movie was bursting with gruesome scenes – which, of course, she chose on purpose. What better excuse for hiding her face in his cologne-scented shoulder? Any smart woman knows how to plan things such as these. He playfully touched her knee…and her arm, and her shoulders, and well, you get the picture. Thankfully, though, he never was inappropriate, in his speech or actions. That was what surprised her most of all. The entire night she was waiting for a monster to appear, but it never did. Michael was the perfect gentleman, paying for everything, taking charge of the evening, but in a good way, and flawlessly playing the ladies’ man by opening doors – including the car – and giving her his coat to ward off the snowy coldness.There was nothing stiff or cheesy about his manner, and for fear of being irreverent, it was almost as if little Miss Stewardess worshiped him.
Over dinner, the conversation never skipped a beat, not even when it came to the “touchy” topics. He told her his opinion as she gave hers, each respecting the other and agreeing to disagree. They laughed the night away, and as she realized how much she liked him, she told him of her Christmas day layover in his resident city.
“Wow! I’m so excited you’ll be here,” he smiled at her. “We’ll have much more time to see the city. I know, I’m going to take you downtown to see the country’s second-largest Christmas tree, we’ll ice skate, and there is an amazing restaurant which is open year-round that I’ll take you to. It’s so beautiful with the lights…you’ll love it,” he said with shining eyes. She had to pick up her jaw.
“So,” she said with a flirtatious sweep of her lashes, “You’re asking me on a second date?”
He grinned at her. “I suppose I am.”
And that was that. The rest of their evening was cut a bit short for she had to be at work quite early the next morning. He pulled up to the hotel doors and thanked her for a fun night, emphasizing that he couldn’t wait to see her again, and, like a true gentleman, refrained from making a move. He drew her into a warm hug and told her to fly safe, winking at her as she closed the passenger side door. She floated on air, of course, all the way back to room 218, barely sleeping because she was way too excited.

Our “gentleman” emailed her two or three times over the next few days, still stating he had a wonderful time and would see her again soon. Still, he never called to talk as he promised he would do, and after a week of not hearing from him, she began to get anxious. Don’t call him, don’t call him, she chided herself. It was torture. She HATED not knowing why. What had she done? The inevitable questions of self-doubt began swarming her thoughts day and night. She hated that she allowed this man she barely knew to gain such a hold over her. Finally, two weeks before her scheduled trip, she gave in. She called him. He answered on the first ring, his voice exactly as she remembered, seeming to be happy to hear from her. She told him that she knew he was busy, but that she needed a definite answer concerning their date plans. If he had family to attend to, she completely understood, but she wanted to change her trip to get paid a little extra instead of spending all day alone in a hotel room eating ice-cream, getting fat, and pining after him. Okay, so she left that last part out. Still, he assured her that his family lived elsewhere and this Christmas he was going to be alone, so they would definitely keep their date plans.He said those dreaded words. “I’ll be in touch.”

And so, our lonely, pathetic flight attendant kept her trip and arrived in Kansas City early in the morning on December 25th. She had remained true to her sex and was allowing Michael to be the hunter, to pursue her, to be in touch as she had the faith that he would. Hours passed, and still no call. She almost had to sit on her hands so that she wouldn’t dial his number.Finally she let go of her hopeless day dream and called her fellow crewmembers to see if they wanted to go to the local theater for a movie. That night they watched “Sweeny Todd” and “I Am Legend.” She stayed away from the sappy romance crap. As even the McDonald’s was closed, her Christmas dinner consisted of Bagel Bites from the local Quick Trip which she microwaved in her empty hotel room.

She never heard from Michael Lehman again.

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